Living Together With A Lunatic

Yo mama can't be half as mad as mine. She drives me nuts. Why? I'll give you a few examples of the many episodes. Perhaps I should write them all down, presumably they'd make a fortune if they would be adapted for screen as a TV series. Last year my mom had gall stones which had to be removed in a surgery. When she told me about the surgery the day she left (didn't know before she was having problems) she said that it was my fault that she's suffering of gall stones (her mom had gall stones too and she died because of it, so I'm sure it wasn't ma fault at all) and she accused me of never having helped her when she was struggeling with pain or health issues (I never saw her in pain and she never told me that something's wrong. How the fucking hell should I have known that? I'm not a bloody woman who can sense every single emotion in another person).
In the period before christmas I was wrapping a gift for a dear friend of mine into gift paper, when she popped into my room without knocking. I was surprised and answered her question (Don't remember what it was), she left the room. A minute later I went downstairs to get a new bottle of water, when I came back into my room she was sneaking around the present and other personal stuff that was lying there. When I asked her what she was doing she told me she was just checking the radiator, if i didn't turn it up too high. I told her to get lost because it was obvious that I caught her sneaking around in my personal stuff and she was troubled to make up an excuse. When I left my room a bit later to have a slash she caught me and forbid me to shower daily. She said that every second day was enough and that she didn't see a reason why I should need a shower every day. Her key argument was that our water concumption has increased during the last half year. I told her that this can't be my fault cause I'm having daily showers sind five years and that my time underneath the shower didn't increase. Well, she started making up other shitty arguments so I asked her why she was behaving so childishly and left. I went into my room and closed the door, sat at my pc again. She dashed in and muttered what the hell my problem would be and a lot of blablabla. I asked her three times politely to leave my room (She spent already way too much time in it that day) but she didn't leave. So I had to stand up and kinda push her out, I needed to lock the door. Since that day I kept my door locked at any time, no matter if I was in the room (Don't want her rushing into my room) or at the University (Don't want her to sneak around). After this incident she refused to give me the car, so I had to take my scooter in the deepest winter with temperatures below -5° in the morning. Even staff from the University asked me what was going on and why I would be still driving my scooter, as I was also very dangerous on icy roads. Well, it is also pretty cold, I can tell you.
About two weeks later when I got home from the University on an afternoon she caught me and started pointlessly arguing that she didn't want my room to be locked. I told her that it shouldn't make a difference. I have to clean my room myself anyway and there's only stuff that belongs to me in there. So I told her that I didn't see the necessity why my room should be open when I'm away. Then I told her that everyone in our houshold can knock at my door anytime I'm in there and I'll open the door. She couldn't think of any arguments better than [QUOTE!!!] "The noise then you turn the key in the lock is too loud!" That's what she said! I was like, I dunno, stunned by the idiocy of this statement. It's so fucking ridiculous. She started to act like a three year old child again, just defending her own position with the most ridiculous arguments you could think of. It was so easy to counter every single argument of her in a very correct and polite way but she got into rage. I was caught in this room with her for two hours when my dad finally came home. At last! I told him what was going on, he looked at me and simply rolled his eyes.
The last episode was just yesterday: I arranged a movie night with my two home boys and we decided to borrow 'Hot Fuzz'. I don't know why, but one guy already came at half past three and he he neither came with his car, nor had he borrowed out the DVD. He's the only one of my friends with a membership card of a video shop. So we had to make up a way to get the DVD, as the video shop was in downtown and our house in the suburbs. So I decided to ask my mom for the car, as she was sitting in her home bureau, doing work or at least predeting to do so. I asked her politely if I could borrow the car quickly to get the DVD from downtown. Of course not. I asked her why. She just didn't want to lend it to me.
Later that day I asked her, with my dad sitting next to her and a friend of mine listening to us, why she hadn't lent me the car. She said that she never got anything back if she did something for me. I told her that I had done anything she had asked mo for during the past months, from cleaning up to loading and unloading the dishwasher. "Well", she said, "just doing what I ask you to do isn't enough. You need to see things yourself. If you see dust or dirt on the ground, clean up. Blablabla." You get it. Me and my dad heard enough, I asked him for his car and he gave me his to bring back the DVD and go out with my friends that evening.
I just think she's getting mental. These are really just a few tiny bits of what she constantly does to me. I really have to keep myself from not yelling at her what a fucked up mom she is. I can't wait to get away from this lunatic, but at the same time I'm sorry for my dad.

Take care of you,

Justin

P.S.: Thank you Michelle for the images, I think I got two of them from you.